Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
