Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize