He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
