There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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