so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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