OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
