We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
