But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
