dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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