Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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