Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
look no pants
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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