i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
