I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
