i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize