i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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