Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
