I have demons in me.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize