..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize