I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
