how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
