if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
