And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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