the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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