Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
