Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
