Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
