she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
