I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize