look no pants
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize