we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
