so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
