awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just threw up on my dentist
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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