tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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