In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
