ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
