I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
