I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
