Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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