You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
