Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
