Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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