So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
