I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
