Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We were destined to go to rehab together
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
