I just cut my nipple shaving
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
