If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
