My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
honey bunches of taint.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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