I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
