I will die if light touches me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
