It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
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