I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
