I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
