community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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