Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
