He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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