JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
