:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
