put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
