This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
