She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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